Last night I had a dream, the second of a new theme. In this dream my grandma (who died of cancer in 1983) has come back to life or reappeared from wherever she'd been hiding. I conjectured perhaps she had been in an induced coma all this time, until they finally cured her. And when she comes back home, my grandpa gets his mind back. This is the new recurring theme. Grandpa Frank has alzheimer's and every time I see him there's a bit less of him there. But in my dream world he goes back to his old grumpy yet good-humored and almost entirely sane self. When grandma comes home.
Their house is the childhood home base that my dreams seem to seek out by default. I never feel safe or happy there in my dreams. There are often problems with the plumbing and the lock on the bathroom door. The main plot point in this particular dream is the appearance of Adolf, one of grandma's long-dead cats. I look out the kitchen window and see him sitting in the middle of the dirt yard where grandpa now keeps his backhoe. I recognize his crooked Hitler mustache. He is bigger and rounder than any non-dream housecat. I announce to grandma that Adolf came home and open the door for him. He rushes inside out of the bitter cold and I sit on the kitchen floor where he uncharacteristically snuggles up on my lap (he was a weird, unfriendly cat). I realize with low-level concern that he is way older than cats are supposed to live. I ask grandma, "When was Adolf born?" She tells me, "45 weeks after your cousin." Even in dream math I realize this is simply not possible. My cousin was born in 1973.... which would make this dream cat over 30 years old. This reasoning launches me toward consciousness, where grandma is still dead and grandpa will never be sane again.
Another theme often found in my dreams: Moving in with my mom in some unfamiliar place that always has complex architecture and more rooms than one would think. The last dream like this was last week, and she and I had moved into an apartment complex much like the one I live in now. In this dream the multitude of rooms we share are spread over two units on opposite sides of the hall (and yet it is still somehow one apartment). It dawns on me that if we divide the space it could be almost like having my own apartment, and I go down the hall to suggest this plan. I find mom has gone insane and is making a variety of loud cat noises. This is not altogether improbable in real life. I try to talk to her quietly and rationally, but she continues to make cat noises. There are a bunch of young women neighbors who come over to help her (wearing fuzzy slippers and pink bathrobes). I decide I can be of no help and lock myself in the other apartment.
The Proust Questionnaire
Tiffany introduced it to me, via Jason via Anna. (And Sam begat William and William begat..)
I like these types of exercises, especially when I'm foggy and panicked generally unclear (as this Monday morning finds me). The Proust questionnaire is named for the French writer Marcel Proust, serving as the inspiration for more introspective interviews, an exercise in self exploration and a peak into the true motivations of the people providing the answers.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Emotional health and physical health, the ability to cover my expenses without any great anxiety, knowing without hesitation that I am loved, supported and valued by the people I love, support and value...and the freedom to create things with my own two hands.
2. What is your greatest fear?
That the things currently causing me grief, will never pass. That this, right now, is all there is to life.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My fear of inadequacy.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Cowardice.
5. Which living person do you most admire?
My aunt Elizabeth. She finds the growth in every challenge. She does amazing things but remains incredibly humble. She can hug you and reduce you to tears just from the love coming from her pores. She sees the best in you and never lets you deny that it is there. She finds joy and beauty in the things many take for granted. She's faced incredible adversity with the courage of a lion and never reduces herself to bitterness. She loves hard, thinks unselfishly, fights for what she believes in and...she's just a wonder.
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Art supplies.
7. What is your current state of mind?
Afraid. Confused. Scattered. Isolated.
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Chastity. But only because of the other recognized virtues, it is the one least inclined to impede your ability to be a healthy, happy, productive individual. I know lots of people that ain't "chaste" but live life with fulfillment and purpose.
9. On what occasion do you lie?
When I'm afraid that the truth is going to really hurt someone with no positive consequence, self included.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My stomach.
11. Which living person do you most despise?
Well, there are a lot of people I don't like. The world is chock full of regrettable people. Though I find it more often to be a curse more than a blessing, I can sympathy or empathy for most. The living person I most despise right now might be Rush Limbaugh. He's dangerous and stirs unscrupulous passions for his own amusement. That sort of small minded deviance works on my ability to think kind thoughts.
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Integrity. Not just one's ability to speak truthfully, but to do so at the cost of your own comfort and ease. Someone that is willing to be seen for who they are. To stand in their truth and not the shadow of what they want others to believe they are.
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Grace. The ability to consider feelings and actions with wisdom and well being and to act gracefully even when it might be difficult to do so.
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I can't.
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My dog. I can always count on her to love me, tend to my wounded feelings and remind me that there's a being out here that will always give as much as or more than she takes. My childhood best friend, Jameel. Over thirty years and going strong. He's been the only one to always be there, to protect me on those occasions I couldn't protect myself and to keep all of my truest thoughts, fears and feelings safe and secure. He's probably the only person I've known that closely or long who has never snatched the rug out from under me.
16. When and where were you happiest?
The day I graduated from college and saw absolute blissful joy and delight on my father's face, knowing I had everything to do with it. A time long ago when I thought I was in love with someone just as in love with me. While everything else is in that story is but a work of fiction, that feeling I had was truer than most anything I've ever experienced. And I try to remain grateful for it.
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to read minds.
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My tendency toward self-preoccupation.
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I think that's yet to be discovered.
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
An eagle. (feathers, not helmets)
21. Where would you most like to live?
Sometimes I think New Mexico. Loads of pottery there, lots of ceramic inspiration, still away from the hustle and bustle of life in a city. Places I would spend a year or two? London. Toronto. New Zealand. Portugal.
22. What is your most treasured possession?
My laptop.
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
A life with no other passion but material gain or personal recognition.
24. What is your favorite occupation?
Potter. Followed by writer.
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
I honestly don't know. I don't trust that I've ever had a clear lens for how others see/observe me.
26. What do you most value in your friends?
Their sincerity.
27. Who are your favorite writers?
Neil Gaiman, Octavia Butler, Pearl Cleage, Paulo Coehlo, C.S. Lewis, Anchee Min, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Maya Angelou
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
Ellen Ripley from the Alien series.
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
I don't think I know enough about the inner workings of any historical figure to say who that person would be.
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
The people who are driven each and every day to the commitment of human services, community service and charitable efforts.
Star Trek: The Motion Pictures
Watching the original series Star Trek films on DVD was like rediscovering them for the first time. Not only did they look great, but on DVD we get director's cuts.
While alternate cuts are not always the way to go, when it comes to Star Trek: The Motion Picture, the first and worst of the Trek films, it made a WORLD of difference.
My mother-in-law (and I'm sure many other Trekkies) refers to TMP as "Where Nomad Has Gone Before". The premise was hardly original, it was a bad mishmash of the Original Series episode, The Changeling and Star Trek: Phase II, the next planned Star Trek television series that never came to fruition. On top of that it was like Gene Roddenberry told director Bob Wise to go overboard on all of the effects shots they could never do on TOS. We were "treated" to these really loooong and boring shots of NOTHING happening for a good four and a half hours with two minutes of bald chicks and "story" placed sporadically throughout the flick. Ugh. What an atrocious film.
BUT WAIT - there's now this incredible Director's Cut wherein the great makers have discovered the "lost" art of EDITING. Holy cow, what a difference good editing makes. The Director's Cut of this film not only makes the film tolerable, but enjoyable as well. I had *never* wanted to watch this film again unless I was having trouble sleeping. But that's all changed now. If you'd seen this film on VHS or, dog forbid, caught the television edit and thought, "meh", get thee to a dvd rentery and give this flick another shot. It's excellent.
What can I say about Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan that hasn't already been said? Nick Meyer came in and breathed some much needed life into the franchise and directed a classic.
I've always been on the fence about Star Trek III: The Search for Spock. I used to be distracted by Saavik's perm...it didn't seem logical for a Vulcan to have such a high maintenance hairstyle. Not only that but the film flits about until the very cruddy ending where they magically put Spock's katra back where it belonged (brain and brain, what is brain!)...I dunno, I just didn't buy it, I always felt it was a little weak.
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home was my absolute favorite out of the TOS films this time around when I watched it. It's a fun movie and it has whales. Yep, whales. How can you go wrong? And what the hell is up with the mom and dad from 7th Heaven in two Trek movies now? It's some sort of Christian Family Drama Conspiracy (tm). I can't really complain, Catherine Hicks is wonderful as the passionate Dr. Gillian Taylor. ST: IV is funny, charming and exactly the kind of adventure that is a joy to take with the crew of the Enterprise.
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.
They producers of Star Trek must've gone down on their knees to beg Nick Meyer to come back and once again save their dying franchise - and he did, with Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. It really is best in its original Klingon. Seriously though, when Captain Von Trapp started singing the reprise of So Long, Farewell in full Klingon garb, I knew this was a hit film.
Here's a little side note. When I watched The Sound of Music as a kid I used to wonder what happened to those Von Trapp kids. The last I knew they went off to live in the mountains. Many were teens, didn't they ever get horny? Was there interbreeding? What does that sort of isolation do to one's emotional state? Did they live there forever? Thankfully at some point in my childhood I saw the remaining VonTrapp kids (who were really damn old) on Oprah and realized they came down from the mountains after a while (or at least before coming to Chicago to film Oprah).
Anyway, the original series Star Trek films, all five of them, were pretty ok if not excellent. I ranked all of the franchise films a short while ago, but I'll yoink out the pesky TNG ones and share my order of favorites for just The Original Series cast.
4 The Voyage Home
6 The Undiscovered Country
2 The Wrath of Khan
1 The Motion Picture
3 The Search for Spock
5 The Final Frontier
I was walking home - desperately - from work one day, shuddering with my disinterest, when I looked up and saw a simple composition floating in the impatient sky. All of the elements were ruled by astronomy, so as each second passed, they were shifted by a celestial sleight-of-hand.
I saw a crescent moon, hanging in the sky like a slice from a ghostly fruit. A rag of cloud, the color of sweetness - apricots, irises - was pulled across the pale lunar fraction. The sky was a gentle product of the negotiation between daylight and sunset: a lavender agreement.
The sky assembles visions like this every evening. It is common drink. But I would dare anyone to take a sip from this vignette ordinaire and not return home happy and reeling.
Tonight we present an extremely rare computer. It was quite expensive when it was new as it was cutting edge. Nah, its a Timex Sinclair 1000. It sold for $99. They made a gazillion of them. They were considered underpowered even when they were released in 1982. Their sole redeeming feature was they introduced thousands of people to computing.
It was a Z80 machine based on the Sinclair ZX81. The differences was twice the memory (2K versus 1K) and NTSC versus PAL output. The whole computer was 4 chips. CPU, RAM, ROM and a custom logic array. The computer was tiny and slow. My portable tv did not like the output so no screen shots. maybe I will try it on the larger tv and see what happens. Anyway, this one I think I got from the library sale. Maybe not as I have 3. The other two belonged to coworkers.
- 20:44 Sinatra on the box and old Italian couples dancing on Saturday night...perfect! #
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If you read the comments on yesterday's post, you'll know that today leaves the bonobos in the dust for VOLES!
Voles are a small rodent and are often confused with mice, moles, and rats, and are only found in the northern hemisphere. There are 155 species of voles (although these guys say 124), including pine, water, mountain, etc. They will eat a wide variety of food, from bark to dead animals and insects. They are quite fond of roots and bulbs, often killing the plant before the gardener realizes the animals are even there.
And hey, voles even have their own website! I think they should send one of their own out to design classes, though, to spruce the page up a bit. They're small, they could sneak into class in someone's backpack.
Apparently voles deserve more attention. Purdue University states that they are the fastest evolving mammal and are a bit of a genetic enigma.
Today's final vole lesson is taught in pictures:
This past weekend, I drove down to NC to meet my wee nephew for the very first time.
On Saturday, my sis and her hubby put on a picnic for family and friends down at Topsail Island.
He was also christened today and put on quite the show - nice waterworks, indeed! :)
