The Good, The Bad and The Sad
First the good:
Concert last night went great. I had around 20 peeps show up to enjoy the show. A few hung around at the bar after and a friend pointed out that yet again, the Amy Party was the last group of people still there. I seem to be the last to leave any kind of party, so yes, none of us were surprised. Hey, why leave when you are still having fun?
Elvis was such a good boy at the vet today. We were in and out under 10 minutes. His blood level is really high but we think his insulin is too old so I'll get a new bottle tonight. I took him home and he was a sweetie pie, not mad at me at all. He really is the best kitty in the whole wide world.
Then I was off to the endodontist, who says all my teeth are fine, I'm just irritating them by all the clenching and grinding I do. So I need to chill out and relax. I may also take my bite guard back to my regular dentist to see if it fits right. I've always been a grinder and need to have a heavy duty guard at night. I've been known to chew through them in short order. My poor teeth and jaws. They put up with such abuse. But - no root canal! Yay!
The bad, which is also the sad:
One of my friends who didn't show for the concert last night called me this morning and let me know that a friend of his, who in the last few months also became a friend of mine, killed himself Tuesday night.
I'm still processing it. He was a good guy, sharp and funny. Really nice and thoughtful.
He had been let go from a good job a year ago and was trying to make a few other things work. All of those had been falling through. I hadn't heard from him in a month and neither had my other friend. We all assumed he was working his project in Mexico but in reality he had been up here the entire time.
How sad that he didn't think he could reach out and ask anyone for help. My friend said, "Sometimes men tie up their entire ego into work." Maybe. We agreed that there was no way we could know what would push someone to that point, and all we can do now is remember who he was to us.
I feel awful for his family. He was a single guy my age, and had moved in with his mother who was the one who found him.
The services are Saturday morning. I'm more stunned than anything else right now. It doesn't quite feel real yet.
Comments
OTOH, YAY for Elvis Good Boy!! And people will always want to hang around where you are. U R teh funz!
Oh how sad about your friend. Too many funerals, Amy, that's not how it's supposed to be at your age. My condolences go out to his family & friends.
Glad to hear the other stuff is good though. who needs a root canal on top of everything else lately. Yay for Elvis!
So sorry to hear about your friends death, suicide is always the hardest afterward on those left behind. We wish we knew or could have done something but we always tend to think things will never get better when we're down, but down the road, they do get better and we look back and can hardly believe how desperate and down we were.
Elvis, you good boy, lots of pats and treats for you! Is he on a special food? I had two diabetic cats and had to give one insulin 2X a day, the other once a day. Both are long gone now, but I remember thinking about how it might hurt when I gave them the shots. They had special science diet food, which I'm sure your vet recommends or something similar.
Keep your chin up girl, your'e in my thoughts today.
Thanks, everybody. Your words and thoughts mean a great deal to me. This is the first time I've had to deal with suicide personally so I'm still in the shock and stunned mode.
I was thinking the other day that if I could give only one piece of advice from what I've learned through my own personal experiences (in case anyone ever asks), is that time is a great healer. Tomorrow provides new opportunities and the sadness of today will fade.
But to reach a point where you can't see past the pain of the present? That to me is such a deep tragedy.
I deleted his contact information from my phone. It felt so strange to do so, but I knew I couldn't keep seeing his name in there.
Elvis is on a very expensive special food. It all seems to be working, and will work better again as soon as I get him on fresh insulin. He gets one shot a day and doesn't seem to mind. He's such a good little patient!
I'm so sorry to hear your news, Amy. It certainly is a hard thing to digest. A friend's exhusband killed himself and even at that relationship distance (I'd only met him a couple of times) it was a shock and hard to absorb.
But to reach a point where you can't see past the pain of the present? That to me is such a deep tragedy.
I hate to say it, but I know exactly how this feels, pre drugs and all that fun stuff. As much as so many people can't understand what would make someone feel this way, I can, all too easily.
Great news about Elvis and the chompers. I don't know how you do it with the grinding. I did that for a short time in my sleep and couldn't eat for days because it hurt so much to move my jaw the slightest bit (hmmm, maybe I should force myself to grind now....)
I'm sorry you have such personal knowledge and experience with this. The mind is certainly a powerful machine and we know so little about how it works. I feel for anyone who has to deal with mental health issues.
I think Jarrod was so disappointed in his business failings that he couldn't see another way out. It was so unnecessary. It leaves the rest of us feeling cheated because we couldn't help him if he didn't let us know.
congrats on the concert going so well, having no need for a root canal, and Elvis's continuing to be The Best Kitty On The Whole Wide World.
like everyone else, so sorry to hear of the death of your friend Jarrod. a special thought to his poor mother. to be the one to have found him is so dreadful.
you are right that time heals. eventually. the kicker is how to fill all that time that must pass until the healing comes to pass.
We had our United Way campaign launch today and the guest speaker was a woman who works for the city's distress line. Her own mother committed suicide which made her want to help others. One of the stories she shared was of a suicidal woman she helped save. Heartbreaking.
The mind really does work in weird ways and sometimes it's hard to tell what is going on in our own, let alone anyone else's.
Take care.
You speak wise words. Today I'm having a hard time finding any words. I'm going through all sorts of emotions, especially after clipping out his obit announcement.
I have no idea how I'm going to react tomorrow at the service. It's a visitation. I really hope it's not open casket or I'm going to lose it. Just thinking about it is making me more emotional than I care to be right now.