10 posts tagged “dating”
Well, as you all probably expected, I had nothing to worry about and I had a lovely time last night with BDG. We chatted, laughed, had a good time and while we don't have plans to see each other again, we both expressed a wish to do so. Of course, that doesn't mean he actually meant it so we'll see what happens. Yes, I'm very skeptical. Experience will do that to a person.
Regardless, I had a great evening and the enchiladas del mar were superb. Shrimp, scallops and crab in blue corn tortillas. *drools* I'm happy to say I have the leftovers in my fridge and look forward to a super yummy lunch.
Now I have to get back to my to-do list so Cranky doesn't show me up too bad. Yes, it is a competition. :-P
I'm having a confidence crisis regarding tonights date with BDG. I couldn't come up with an outfit that I thought was just right. My hair is trying to pull a cruel prank on me. I have a lingering cold which not only makes my head feel 10 pounds heavier just from the snot, but makes my eyes look like they've been on a crying jag.
Regardless of appearance, now the voice in my head is telling me: "Guys don't like the smart girls. He's from Scottsdale so I'm not going to be rich/thin/pretty/vapid enough."
So I'm in a bad energy mood at the moment. I'm sure I'll get out of it soon enough and snap back to my audacious self. After all, I'm a happy, successful and adventurous person, dammit. My life is good right now and having a date is just a bonus. We're also going to my favorite restaurant, so there's no way it can go poorly.
On another (musical) note, here's my current fave tune, part of my annual Christmas music gift from Brother Steve. (I tried to scramble the name of the group a little to make sure this didn't jam up your work security filters).
First day back to work and I'm rarin' to go.
Second day of January. January is also Birthday Month. w00t! Instead of any mental anguish that will come with thoughts of turning 37, I'll instead be thinking of all the celebrations in store. I have six other friends with January birthdays and countless others who want to party for any given reason, so from now until the end of the month will be many chances to revel in good cheer and great company.
Thirdly, I have a date with BDG (Blind Date Guy) on Friday night. Always fun to start the new year with new possibilities. That leads me to one of my resolutions I forgot yesterday.
9. Don't listen to other people's dating advice. This is especially true about those friends who never make good relationship choices but are the first to tell you all the things you are doing wrong.
I'm 37 (technically still 36, but it is Birthday Month so let's just go with it), divorced and have had my share of bad relationships and crazy dates. Good experiences, too, of course. So I think I know what I need to know by now - you will either hit it off or you won't. If you do, it shouldn't be difficult, painful or hurtful. If you don't, then keep moving.
Besides, my life is pretty darn good as it is right now. I may meet someone I want to share my life, I may not. I'm good with either scenario.
That said - party on!
I don't get on Vox for a few days and now I'm a postin' fool.
First up, Elvis is fine but he needs his insulin shots to be at 3 units twice a day. He's doing well and is fully recovered from his day at the "Cat Spa". Or the "Kitty Jail", as he probably thought of it.
Second, I got in another three miles tonight. I think I'll be ready for my part of the Big Race come February. Yay!
Third, I'm in full daydream mode while making dinner, "Why, yes, Rob Gifford, I WILL run away with you and live in a Mongolian yurt for the rest of our days", when my cell phone rings.
It's an honest to goodness REAL guy whom a mutual friend thought would be a good fit. I totally forgot about this possibility, as guys my age out here don't date women my age. They usually go for the 20-somethings, which leaves the 20-something guys to hit on us 30-something gals. I liken it to certain species of pack animals, where the established male kicks the young males out of the pack and keeps all the ladeez to himself. The young males are left to scrounge for whatever females are left. That would be me. Now, that's not to say I don't find this flattering, but I really don't find myself attracted to 25 year old guys. Sure, they could be fun in their own way, but um, no.
Anyway, we had a brief chat and determined we wouldn't be able to meet up until I get back from Michigan around New Years. I'm supposed to call him when I get back in town. We couldn't meet this week because the only night he has off work he's spending with his mom to do shopping for the Salvation Army Christmas Angel program.
*pause to let that sink in*
Yep, they decided not to give each other presents so this is what they are doing instead. How great is that?? I like him already, no matter what.
The funny thing about set ups is finding out what your friends say about you. This guy, let's call him Blind Date Guy (BDG) - otherwise Set Up Guy is SUG, and I don't really like that... Anyway, BDG said my friend made me sound extremely interesting and he hopes she didn't say more about him than he could live up to. Well, she did say he liked to travel and well, other things that made it sound like we had a lot in common. I couldn't remember. I had been interrupted thinking Rob Gifford thoughts, after all.
What he said intrigued him the most about me is that she said, "When Amy wants to do something, she doesn't wait for anyone else - she just does it." She used my Purgatory ski trip as an example, when I only had one weekend I could go skiing and no one wanted to go. So I went by myself and had a blast. Met a charming fellow while I was there, of course, but that's beside the point.
I thought that was pretty interesting, since I don't think there's anything too significant about solo travel. Apparently that's a big deal. Who knew?
Now I'm back to re-playing the conversation and wondering if I screwed it up already - did I keep him on the phone too long? Should I have ended the conversation faster? You know - that whole game thing. Men are flakes after all, and you never know what you do that turns them off.
But I'll give him a call when I get back and see what the deal is. That was supposed to be the weekend Secret Service Guy said was coming to visit but he - you guessed it - flaked.
Shocker.
I'm still in a great mood. Had a good review today and good news all around.
Just for kicks, here's a silly song for all y'all, courtesy of Southern Culture on the Skids. Not only did Brother Steve give me most of my current CD collection, last year for Christmas he gave me an external hard drive with his entire music collection. 4,000 tunes I haven't even started listening to.
It's been a while since Island Girl threw down the challenge to post my top 10 date stories. Yes, I've been procrastinating. But sometimes life gives you encouraging nudges once in a while. For instance, the QotD about text messages could only be answered by Date Story #1.
Today I made a Trader Joe's run as I was craving cold, fruity drinks. Non-alcholic cold, fruity drinks to make up for last night's alcoholic cold, fruity drinks. As I was walking across the parking lot (usually I ride my bike but it's frigging hot), I see the guy who is in line to be next in my dating story series. He might have recognized me even with my big summer hat and big shades, but I didn't care. I do regret not getting a good look at the woman he was with, as I always wonder who ends up with these guys.
I'll spare you all the details and cut to the chase. I'll call him The Professor, as he is an evolutionary biology prof at the university. If I had thought the Mr. I Don't Know Why I'm This Smart held the position of Top Narcissist, I would have been mistaken.
On our first date, we talked a lot about The Professor. I thought, hmm, I wonder if he is ever going to ask me anything about me. Nope. All him, all the time. Always trying to be funny and witty. My warning signals were going off but I thought perhaps just first date jitters. Of course, he planted a big kiss on me when he walked me to my car as if I was Instant Girlfriend. Okay, I'm all for kissing but for crying out loud, at least make me feel like you are interested in me for who I am. Pretend if you must, but there was no reason for me to be into him at this point.
Second date - I made a decision that I was not going to ask him questions about him or try to interject anything personal and see if he would show an interest outside of himself. I didn't see this going anywhere but as I said before, my curiousity regarding bizarre human behavior leads me to go on dates just for the future entertainment value.
I finally couldn't stand his constant yammering about whatever so I worked in a few nuggets about myself guaranteed to elicit questions. I told him I played the sax.
Prof: *sing song voice* "Saxomophone!"
Me: (hmmm) "Oh, I just love the Simpsons."
Prof: "Yeah - I'm used to being the smartest person in the room, but sometimes the writers come up with things that floor me."
Me: (OMG. He did NOT just say that! Even I was the smartest person in the room, I wouldn't think I was let alone make a point of it.)
Later on, I come back to it.
Me: "I can't go out on Wednesday because I have rehearsal."
Prof: "Rehearsal for what, Thursday?" (Always trying for the witty retort)
Me: "Ha. No, for band. Where I play the sax. Maybe someday I'll invite you to a concert."
Prof: "Great! You can play a piece and then I'll play."
Me: *with increasing disdain* "Really, and what do you play?"
Prof: "I play the guitar. I'm really good."
Me: "I bet you are. It doesn't work like that. You can come to the concert and then we'll go to a coffee shop to hear you."
After a few moments of silence...
Prof: "I could have played the sax."
Me: "Reeeally."
Prof: "Yeah, I was going to play the sax but they wanted me to play that gay Kenny G sax."
Now, whether he wanted to sound homophobic or not, he did. I hate Kenny G, but still. Plus, I was getting extremely irritated and starting to lose my 'view as the third person'. Also, if you are familiar with school bands, musical education and the saxophone family, you will have already realized this guy was full.of.crap.
Me: "The soprano sax??"
Prof: "Yeah, that one. They wanted me to play it and I didn't want to."
Me: "The soprano sax?? In beginning band?"
Prof: " Yeah."
Me: "They would not have asked you to play the soprano sax in beginning band."
Prof: "Well they did."
Me: "Were they going to write new parts just for you? Because there's no beginner music for soprano sax. You would have to start on an alto and then you wouldn't even touch a soprano until high school at the earliest."
Prof: "Well, that's what they wanted me to play and I wasn't going to."
Dude, if you are going to work that hard to feed me a line of crap, make sure you pick something I don't know about. I even asked the tenor sax player who sits next to me about this, to make sure I wasn't crazy. He's a sixth grade band director and looked at me as if I just asked him for crack. "How do you find these guys?"
It's a gift, I tell ya.
I called his bluff and never heard from him again. But he still tried to plant a huge kiss on me when he walked me to the car. What is that? Hey, it's a bad date and I'll never see you again, let's make out. Blech.
What's the best text message you've ever gotten?
Ooh, let me go to my phone so I can get it right...
If that's the way you treat people, it's no wonder you are still single (correct punctuation mine)
This is from a guy who spent the night talking about himself, especially how everyone says he's the nicest guy they've ever met. He also went down the list of people who think that of him. So if I didn't recognize and appreciate what a nice guy he is, he was going to feel really sad for me.
At some point I said something snarky (shocker) and in a huff he said, "Maybe we shouldn't see each other." I said it was the best idea he had all night. Then I told him what would help is if he would listen to what I have to say. He said:
"When people start telling me a story, I know why they are telling me the story and what they are going to say."
He grabs my hand, looks me square in the eye and says.
"I don't know how I'm this smart. I just am."
It took every once of self control to keep a straight face and not fall off my chair laughing. I think I was in shock.
He walked me to my car and tried to kiss me. I did an evasive manuever and said I wasn't interested in seeing him again.
On the way home, I received the text message you see up there. Beautiful.
(IG - I hope this counts as one of my 10 strange and bizarre stories I owe you.)
Dates cheese prosciutto
Where have you been all my life?
You are heaven sent
(oooh, so sorry if you thought this was a post about my dating exploits...)
Courtesy of my fave Dino Comics.
Even though I avoid posting my bizarre tales of dating on my own blog, I'll at least try to step up and hand out some helpful tips now and again.
"Mr. Fancy Vodka, please meet Ms. Sparkling Pomegranate Juice"
Ahhh. Now if only every fix-up could be so sweet and fulfilling. These two met for the first time tonight because I'm sitting at home, blown off completely by my latest fix-up.
We met last week through a mutual acquaintance, had a great first date. He called the next day, wanting to see me again. We saw each other on Saturday for a casual afternoon. We made plans to go out on Tuesday night - tonight. Okay, so the plans were to 'do something'. Still, that's enough for me to hold my schedule open. That schedule is now closed to him from here on out.
What bugs me the most is that this recent episode follows the same pattern as 90% of my dates in the last few years. We meet, we go out twice and the conversations are like this: "You are wonderful, you are beautiful, I'd love to see you again, blah, blah, blah, let me kiss you passionately as I walk you to your car, I can't wait to see you again, I'll call you tomorrow."
And then...
*sound of crickets chirping*
The second-guessing kicks in: was it something I said? Something I did? Then I decide to just let it go. I wasn't completely sold on him, although he was the most interesting person I've met in a long time.
So I'm home, enjoying a rare night to myself spending quality time with Elvis and experimenting with whatever liquids I have sitting around my house. And people laugh when I say all I have in my fridge is a gallon of milk, a stick of butter, a jar of mustard and booze. (The first three items were not part of any mixing this evening). Ha to them, I say!
Have you ever played matchmaker? How did it go?
No, because I would never set up people I care about with any of my guy friends. My guy friends are great friends, but not good boyfriend material. (Unless you are one of my guy friends reading this, then I think you are fabulous and I just haven't found anyone right for you yet.)
That said, I have been set up a few times. Other than one guy just being a womanizing jerk (my friend was hoping he had grown out of it), the latest match-ups have been fun and positive.
The most interesting part of getting matched up is seeing how your friends see you. Once, my former boss and seemingly close friend thought I would be a great fit for a new colleague of his. New Guy and I chatted on the phone and made a date.
When I opened the door, I had a hard time masking my reaction. Note - it's always good to meet somewhere neutral for many reasons, not the least of which is to get a good look at someone before he/she sees you first.
At the time, I was competing in triathlons, working out almost every day and while probably too skinny, in the best physical condition of my life. He looked like the only exercise he ever did was walking to the fridge or opening a bag of cheezy poofs.
I tried to be nice and make the date a pleasant experience. I kept trying to tell myself that perhaps I was being too shallow, so I tried to get past our obvious differences in lifestyle choices. But the attraction wasn't there and it wasn't going to be.
When he dropped me off, he barely stopped for me to get out. Forget walking me to the door, I practically did a tuck and roll out of his car. Then he had the nerve to tell my friend it was the worst date of his entire life.
WHA?? Sure, maybe it was. Yeah, we weren't matched up well but I was never rude, never mean. My mom said he probably could sense my revulsion, which was most likely the case. If I don't like a guy, I can't hide it. I get really uncomfortable but still try to make the best of it.
I never did ask my friend, "What the HELL were you thinking???", but I should have.
