1 post tagged “performance anxiety”

I'm playing a solo tomorrow at church. A little Vivaldi piece with piano accompahniemmment. Ever heard Vivaldi on the alto sax? No? Just about everything can be transcribed for different instrumentation these days.

I practiced with the piano for the first time on Thursday. Practicing at home, in a little backroom by yourself barely prepares you for what you sound like with the sanctuary acoustics and the the piano part. Took a few tries to not sound like I was a six-grader who didn't know which end to blow into.

So today I ran through the piece a zillion times, spending extra time on the parts that trip me up most often. It's extremely important to train over and over and over so when your brain freaks and screams "ACK! A hundred people are STARING AT ME!" your fingers can take over.

This happened to me last year when I happily volunteered to play during the choir's summer hiatus. The last time I had played a solo with piano accompniamenent was in high school for Solo & Ensemble competition and now I found myself sorely out of confidence.

There I was, standing up in front of the friendliest, most supportive crowd I could have ever hoped for. The nerves started a few measures into the piece when all of a sudden, I went cold and panic set in. All I could think was "I'm going to forget how to play. I can't remember how to play. ACKCKCKCK!"

Then it was all over. People were clapping and I was through. It was like driving home in deep thought and all of a sudden you realize you are in your driveway but can't remember any part of your journey.

I'm hoping my subconscious will take over in case it happens again. But *positive thoughts* it won't.

I can do it. It will be great. It will be fun. I will be relaxed and enjoy. *repeats*